how to heal from childhood trauma
The Rhythm of Life
There is a rhythm to life. Night turns into day, morning becomes evening, autumn changes to winter, and spring becomes summer. Meal times are a daily ritual and holidays a yearly cause for celebration. Life achievements and milestones move in a natural, ever-flowing stream of beginnings and endings. As human beings, we move and breathe and live according to this life-giving ebb and flow.
How childhood trauma works
For children who grow up in traumatic and dysfunctional homes, this reliable rhythm is ignored at best and becomes an opportunity for abuse at worst. Nothing in life is dependable. Nighttime is dangerous and the day something to be endured. The body is a source of shame and we learn to despise and reject it for its vulnerability. Mealtimes bring on verbal, emotional, and physical attacks. Holidays are disasters and the celebration of milestones does not exist. The child is taught that emotional needs are unimportant and inconvenient.
This abnormal structure is all we know and it follows us into adulthood. Ever on the alert for danger, there is never a moment for us to relax into the rhythm of life. Sleep becomes an enemy. Food is only an avenue for comfort or control. We ignore or abuse our body and stumble through life waiting for the next shoe to drop; unable to experience the joys of the present and filled with fear for what may happen in the future.
Becoming aware of the rhythm of life is the first step for change. Slow down. Stop. Look around. Let yourself participate in regular meals every day. Buy a special pillow for sleep and in the morning, make your bed. Affirm the goodness of your body and enjoy a long, hot bath with candles. Meditate or take a walk at the same time every day. Turn holidays into a cause for celebration by making new traditions and doing things you would have enjoyed as a child. Help at a homeless shelter or house of worship for Thanksgiving. Working with others toward a common goal brings hope. Take your mind off yourself and find a needy family to give to at Christmas. Participate in a carol sing, musical celebration, art exhibit, or other soul healing activity. Honor yourself in as many ways and as many times as possible. Do for your inner child the things your parents failed to do. The rhythm of life isn’t just the repetition of night and day or the turn of the seasons. It is the call to the heart to participate in the things that are lovely, and worthy, and honorable.
Begin with small steps despite your fear and anxiety. Over time, the torment of the past will no longer rule the present. Intentionally live in opposition to evil as best you can. Try to respond to the rhythm of life instead of the hurts from the past. The rhythm of life calls to the deepest places of the heart and invites us to come and be a part of the great joy of creation. We have been gone too long and it’s time to come home. The rhythm of life is waiting for you. May you hear the song, join in the dance and allow the truth to set you free.
