the dread part 7-freedom
Freedom from The Dread
When we were young, my husband was a pilot for the United States Air Force. One of our first assignments was Ramstein Air Base, Germany. While I loved living in Europe, we were there for three years and often times, I grew homesick for the United States. One of the most comforting events happened every evening on the Air Base at 5:00PM. You see, when the United States has a military base in another country, it is just as if all the territory of that base is the United States. The US has total jurisdiction and the freedoms enjoyed in our country are also enjoyed on that base. No matter where in the world it is located. Whenever I got homesick, I made sure to be on Ramstein Air Base at 5PM. Why? What happened at 5PM that was such a big deal?
At 5PM every day, retreat was played. All the cars on base would pull over. Active Duty personnel would get out, stand at attention, face the flag, and salute. Dependents like myself also pulled over and put their hand over their heart. Everything came to a complete stand still for those few minutes everyone faced the American flag and thought about home and freedom.
No matter what your politics, when an ocean separates you from home, it makes you twice as thankful for freedom. As childhood survivors of trauma, the longing for home never leaves. And it’s far more than an ocean that separates us. That brings me to the topic at hand—freedom from The Dread. We’ve been on a long journey starting with blog #19. Here we are at blog #25. The journey toward healing is a lot longer than seven blogs, but at least we’ve got a good start. Ten years ago, when I was still in the middle of constant flashbacks, despair and misery, I never imagined I would ever be free. Freedom doesn’t mean perfection, but it does mean a life filled with peace and purpose. When you come to the place where you can say, deep down in your soul, “I am a wonderful person,” then you know you are at least on the edge of freedom. The acrostic below sums up our journey.
F- Find out the truth
R- Recognize the truth in your own life and family system
E- Educate yourself about your family of origin and how it has impacted you
E- Embrace the truth
D- Do the next right thing
O- Optimize your new found knowledge (it doesn’t do any good if you don’t apply action)
M- Mercy, always be kind to the little child you once were and to the adult you are
Every person’s journey is uniquely theirs. I can’t possibly understand everything about your struggles, but I do know what it is like to be so tormented from emotional damage caused by childhood trauma that you want to die. I started blogging on a website because though there was a lot of information out there, there were not many actual voices of survivors. I try not to spend too much time talking about the details of the horror. Perhaps that’s because it’s still hard to talk about. But it is also because knowing all the details doesn’t help readers heal. It just churns our shared misery but doesn’t get us anywhere.
I would like to encourage you to take action and never, never, never surrender to trauma. It wants you to quit. It wants you to give up. It wants to torment you right to the grave. DEFY it for all you’re worth. Put everything into the fight. Freedom is possible—and so is joy. Defy trauma, embrace joy.